The Jetts' Public Interview

[This is an out-of-canon special interview for the Jett Trio.]

Welcome to “Beside the Stars”, with your host, Hal Morgan!

Hal: Thanks for coming to speak with us. I understand that you guys don’t like being up close to the public, so I’ll try to make this as simple as possible. Let’s start with Lora Jett. Lora, I hate to say it, but some people on the internet and in some other places already know that the Lora Jett who works at Candy Castle is the same being as the red-clad elastic siren, Trinity. Does that bother you in any way?

Lora: Um, I dunno. Just as long as teenagers and the papparazzi don’t ambush me in the open, I think that’s fine. Because hey, when I was getting used to my powers for the first time with a different costume and pseudonym, I made money showing off from time to time!

Hal: Hmm, interesting. Then can you explain how you change from one form to another, as in like putting your costume on?

Lora: Well, if you must know, my shapeshifting powers do that for me. The costume is actually a part of my body, since my brother here recently told me that my insides are one solid mass of living rubber and gum. Basically, I just morph my body into my sexy self.

Hal: Okay then...thank you, Lora. I suppose that explains how good you are at your powers. Let’s move on, shall we? Alan, how does changing size feel to you?

Alan: It depends. When I’m building-sized, I feel just awesome when fighting criminals that can fit in the palm of my hand. Heck, I can punch a helicopter right out of the air and I don’t feel projectiles hit me at all. Now, shrinking is a different matter entirely. Uh...I pretty much feel extremely vulnerable when I’m like 5 inches tall, so I don’t like to shrink often. I only do it when I need to get around a locked door or screw up some electronics on the inside. I’d never shrink down out in public.

Hal: Why do you feel nervous when shrunken? Be honest, we’re civilians.

Alan: Well, it stems from how our parents were involved with metahuman research. I was one of their test subjects because my powers come from a chemical they made that alters a human’s growth hormones so that mere thought can influence them. But my Dad made me stay shrunken for a prolonged period so he could study my powers up close. Believe me; I had a bad dream about that recently.

Hal: My goodness. How are your parents doing?

Alan: My father’s in jail because his research led to him wanting to bring superpowers to the entire global population via satellites. Don Byron and the 3 of us stopped him before he could launch the delivery rocket. Mom’s doing fine at 67, and she’s happy to have our little Mindy as a granddaughter.

Hal: Interesting. Do you want to share anything regarding this ‘metahuman research’?

Alan: It’s complicated, but the gist of what Dad discovered is that all superpowers come from four synthetic nucleotides created from whatever event affected the respective subject: Beldine, Dinisine, Octamine, and Yuanine.

Hal: So the myth that radiation is the source has been proven false, I presume?

Alan: Definitely.

Hal: Well, thank you for the information, Alan. I suppose people would say you’re the brains of the group?

Alan: (chuckle) I guess so. My whole family is pretty well-educated, even if Lora had to spend 10 years away from heroism to catch up on college!

Lora: Stop it, Alan. You think you’re so smart just because Dad didn’t even take you to college!

Hal: All right, there’s no need for arguments. Now, how about you, “Double” Mindy? Would you like to say something for the public?

Mindy: Um...

Hal: Don’t be shy, ask me anything!

Mindy: I like having stretchy powers, it’s like a dream come true for me!

Hal: Oh? How so?

Mindy: Um...I’ve been reading comics and watching cartoons for a while, and I’ve always wanted to be like the heroes in them, so Mom really made that wish come true for me!

Lora: Yeah, I made Mindy’s powered costume because we both have that comic hobby in common with one another.

Alan: Although I can’t shake how my bloodline ran on those comics, so to speak.

Lora: Please, Alan, don’t act so gloomy! Are you Autistic or something?

Alan: No, sorry. *ahem* Excuse me, Hal, can we have a few minutes to swap some stories together?

Hal: Sure, (to camera) we’ll be right back after these messages. (Leaves booth)
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Alan: Hey, I’ve read this novel series that talks about being able to enter the Thorne Miniature Rooms in Chicago.

Mindy: Really?

Alan: Yeah, there’s this enchanted MacGuffin key that lets a girl shrink if she touches it, and on top of that they can enter the time period of wherever the room was based on, but only if a certain artifact is there to make the connection.

Lora: Hehehe, sounds like something YOU wouldn’t want to be in.

Alan: Definitely not. Although it says when one shrinks to 5 inches, the miniatures become scaled to a real human’s proportions, I wouldn’t want to risk bumping into some important figure and set off a temporal distortion wave.

Lora: A temporal distortion what?

Alan: Never mind.

Mindy: Ooh! Sounds awesome!

Alan: There’s something else I figured out recently. Isn’t our whole family kind of like the Fantastic Four?

Lora: (pause) Whoa, you’re right! I never figured that out!

Alan: Yeah, I guess in some aspects. I’m kind of like Mr. Fantastic, except I have Reed Richard’s smarts and the Thing’s muscles.

Lora: By the way, how DID you get so ripped?

Alan: I think it mostly has to do with the serum – because I was terribly weak when I got shot with the antidote, but I have some workout equipment in that giant loft apartment of mine, and you can be sure that I use it every day.

Lora: Okay then. So...I’m like Sue Storm and Mindy’s sort of like Franklin?

Alan: Probably. I could be wrong, but this parallel does fit nicely.

Lora: Now that I think about it, Dad is a lot like Reed Richards: He’s brilliant and excelled in genetic science, and he’s always focused on his work which makes him neglect us, but the difference is of how naïve he is about the outcomes of his work. I think you’re more along the lines of...the Human Torch.

Mindy: What did their kid do? I didn’t get that far in the comics?

Lora: I don’t know, it’s a little complex for me.

Alan: Ha ha ha, I can picture us meeting the Fantastic Four at their base and comparing our history with them. Dad’s metahuman research would make Reed’s head spin, literally even!

Lora: And let’s not forget that silly knock-off in Batman Beyond: The Terrific Trio!

Alan: Oh yeah, THEM! I felt sorry for those punks when I saw their one episode.

Mindy: What happened? I didn’t see much of that show.

Alan: I think their DNA started breaking down, their heavyman Magma decided to redo their “Particle Fusion Experiment” but none of them thought that Gotham City would get insanely irradiated, like Dad’s crazy experiment! Ha, another parallel, who’d have thunk it? Anyway, it ended when Batman sucked two of them into an air vent – Some ice ghost called Freon who could freeze people, and the 2-D MAN - Like Mr. Fantastic, but flat. Magma just got doused with water and put out for good.

Mindy: Gee, that doesn’t sound nice.
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Hal: (To camera) Welcome back, everyone! We’re just getting ready to wrap up here, so if anyone else has more things to say, let’s hear them!

Lora: I just want to say that, now that my identity is known, I want to make something clear: I may be sexy, but it would be nice to have at least six feet of distance between me and the fans, okay? Just keep your hands to yourselves.

Alan: I’d like to say a few words about my father, Dr. Howard Xavier Jett: Although what his research led to was not good, and we were right to arrest him; Me, Lora and my niece still love him as a parent. I’m saddened to know that he didn’t give us as much appreciation as our mother, Sarah does. Anyone who’s watching, please tell the police to email him this.

Mindy: And I hope that I’ll grow up to be a real superheroine like my Mom, and keep justice strong while fighting crime!

Hal: Thanks for that flamboyant announcement, you three! (To Camera) That’s it for this show, ladies and gentlemen! See you next time on Wednesday, when we interview Gage McIntyre and his amazing proposal to be an inventor!